My People,

It is time for me to interrupt our regularly scheduled knitting to share something The Husband and I have been going through. Three and a half years ago we began trying to have a baby. We’ve since had two miscarriages and a failed cycle of IVF. I do not know if we’ll be parents. I do know we’ll be okay wherever we end up. I know that I would love to be a mom and also know that if Mother Teresa didn’t have kids, it’s good enough for me. Yes, I did just compare myself to a saint.

This journey taught me many things. First, no matter what, I am enough! Our first loss allowed me to realize I didn’t feel like enough unless I was a mom.

I’ve grown to love The Husband even more deeply and I didn’t think that was possible.

It has earned Sydney a special place in my heart. I now understand why people get paw prints tattooed on their bodies. I cannot go down that path or I’ll soon have a Sydney sleeve.

Most of all, it has given me compassion for others. I now assume that I do not know anyone’s whole story and am far more likely to give them the benefit of the doubt. If you’re going through loss or infertility, please know you are not alone.

I have not shared before because I could not handle the “are you pregnant yet?” or the well meaning advice like, “if you adopt, you’ll get pregnant”. I needed a safe space to talk about knitting and laugh. Thank you for that. Thank you for the joy you continually bring me, my people. I am so thankful for you. There is no darkness that isn’t lightened by laughter with friends. You are my tribe.

Now I’ve picked myself up, dusted myself off and am ready to roar again! When life gives you lemons, just keep knitting.

– Katie

Ps. I’m writing a book about my journey of attempting to choose joy when I felt like shanking something. Subscribe here if you’d like to know when I post a new blog and hear about my book…and seriously, Thank you!!!